Torture

Yesterday the funniest thing happened. I went to buy a pair of shoes and there was a guy asking e1 if they could speak English & ppl kept telling him (with their native accent) that unfortunately they don't. He came to me and I helped him. Then e1 started clapping and guess what? It was a stupid hidden camera stuff.

I TOLD THIS TO FORGET THE TORTURE FOR A SEC BUT IT DOES'NT F**KING HELP.

Feeling Pain

I promise I write slower and not to get angry. So this is as much as I can. If I continue I become angry again. So bye. I ll go enjoy the sun.

I went out but there was no sun, so I came back. It's June yet no sun and you want me to learn how to write with my left?

F* this.

Giving up

I decided to write much slower; like a 7-year old. I don't know what orientation should my paper be put to write easier. With my right, I put the paper with sort of a 30 degrees.

I think I put too much pressure on my pen because I keep fu*king breaking the tip of it. And I f*king forgot that I should have written slowly like a 7-year old. Screw this. I gave up.

Quitting

So couple of days passed and right at this second I am checking how my left hand perform doing the simple task of writing. I still should avoid long sentences. It seems that the more I write with my left, the more seconds I can write with my left. Without pain. Today it took me 3 seconds. So I am dealing with 2 things: 1-write properly and 2-Not getting tired. Anyhow I am now dealing with how should I hold the pen! It's f*cking hard anyway.

Why the hell did I start this stupid experiment? I don't care what is going to happen when I lose my right hand. I will deal with it by then.

Writing is harder than what you think

I realized why I was worst the 2nd time, cause I thought I should be better by then (which is ridiculous; it is like millionaire dreams) and therefore, I wrote a lot faster as if I am on my right hand. But apparently, it is a long process, so, we are back on the track.

So now the question is how long would it take for me to write as well as my right with my left. I will try not to cheat meaning I will write all these with my left AND I only write things come to my mind [while writing with my left hand]. But of course like every where else cheating will happen from time to time. I may think of something cool when I am not writing and write it later on just to look cool. I won't write with my right hand obviously as this is the whole point.

2nd Day

At the very first 2 or 3 seconds, I thought this is becoming a lot easier applying the theory of "sleeping on it", but after a few seconds, I realized no. I also realized that because of my theory of "forgetting what I want to say" causing me losing the grammar as well. Kinda like I mess up the whole where I started my sentences and where was the verb or adjective, or .... Of course this all is for me start becoming a left-handed.

I also realized that I am much worse than the other time which is so depressing and I might as well quit.

Start Writing with My Left Hand

Writing with left hand is harder than just writing the letters nice. It is about where to start [the] orientation. It also seems that your train of thought is also get affected. It is slower and also harder to keep thinking. Even holding the pen in your left hand is hard and mind consuming.

Something weird happens as soon as you decide to write with your left hand. At the beginning of this experiment, you are all tens with squeezed fingers and muscles. It happens from time to time that you forget what you want to say as you are so concerned with writing.

Frustrating is what it is.

You might think after 5 minutes that you are becoming worst so then sleep on it. You might also feel sort of a pressure in your right hand. That's because your brain is sending commands to it to take over the hard task.

S and 5 are particularly hard. You want to start [writing them] from opposite side.